Dear Molly: I like playing with good golfers, but it makes me nervous, especially in charity events where they put a pro in every foursome. Can you give some tips on how I can make sure they don’t hate playing with me? I’m a terrible golfer – I just play fun golf and am not in any leagues.
“Terrible” is such a relative term. Beginners can feel terrible playing in any foursome at all. Short hitters can feel terrible playing with long hitters. And every other golfer in the world might feel terrible paired with a steaming hot Scottie Scheffler.
So try not to feel so terrible about being whatever it is you think of as terrible! We’ve all been there.
But playing a charity event at a private club (here’s a list) or even just a random recreational round at a public course may require playing with a professional, plus-handicap amateur or a long-drive champion. I turned to two of these elite golfers for their answers to your question.
Nan Ryan, the 91-year-old golf matriarch of Estes Park, played golf with LPGA Hall of Famers during a stellar amateur and teaching career. Her annual junior golf fundraiser, the Nan Ryan Invitational, is coming up July 26. Nan’s single-digit-handicap days are long over and she considered the question from the point of view of a student. Her advice:
Try to play with family and friends when you’re just starting out, so you don’t get “stuck” with better players. But if it happens, tell them up front that you are a beginner and will try to keep up and not hold them up. Your mission will be to play from the most forward tees, or even to tee up 150 yards from the hole; pick up your ball after a bunch of mishits and drop on or near the green; take no more than two practice swings; don’t bother looking for your errant shots or hitting over water or out of sand traps; be ready when it’s your turn; mark down your GOOD shots instead of attempting to keep your score.
Then Nan added, “Don’t ask for advice from your better playing partners, but watch what they do and how they do it.”
Well, I’m warning Nan right now that if I ever get to play golf with her, I will be asking her advice. No way I’d miss a chance to pick the brain of someone who played golf with Patty Berg, Marilynn Smith, Mickey Wright and Kathy Whitworth!
And the other elite golfer I spoke to would agree with me on that.
“My first thought is not to lollygag to your ball, because you’re probably going to be the very first one to hit all the time,” said Mark Hirsch, who at age 64 is sporting a plus-1 index with the Lone Tree and City Park golf clubs. “Just briskly get to your ball. Make as good a concentrated swing as you possibly can. Try your hardest on every shot. And ask for advice. Ask, ‘What one or two things would you tell me to help me improve quicker than normal?’ What are they going to say? No? I’m too good to help you? Then you don’t want to play with that guy anyway!”
Like Nan, Mark loves teaching the game. Here’s more of his advice:
Don’t move or talk while people are hitting, and if somebody’s trying to engage you in conversation just hold up a finger to shush them for just a minute. Help whoever is on the green – if you’re the first one to putt out, make sure you go over and get the pin and hold it so the flag isn’t flapping. If somebody else has the flag and somebody is putting from 30 feet away and the carts are in the opposite direction, walk over and pick up their clubs for them so they don’t have to turn around and walk 30 feet back to pick up their clubs. People love when you pick up their clubs for them. Ask about their families, their kids – any conversation that doesn’t include complaining that you’re not good, because anybody that’s not good, the other players already know that. And you should never throw your clubs.”
Hirsch was struck by a comment a few years ago by a former CGA champion, Harry Johnson. “I said Harry, I know you’re from Vail, what’s your favorite course to play in Vail?” he recalled. “He said, well, really, any course that I’m playing on with three people that I really like to be with.”
With the right attitude and an understanding of golf etiquette, even the most “terrible” among us can be good company without being good golfers.
Do you have a question about golf etiquette, golf relationships or the culture of golf in Colorado? Email it to Molly McMulligan, the CGA’s on-the-course advisor on how to have more fun on the golf course, and follow @MollyMcMulligan on Instagram. Her creator, researcher and writer is golf journalist and CGA member Susan Fornoff.
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